Retrospection

So far in the story I'm currently in and figure I don't have all that long left to stay in, I've experienced many things. And learned a lot. Again? Who really knows. I will say I know when I look back, all along I was doing the best I could given my belief system and level of awareness. I've learned that about all people - we are all doing our best, not trying to do our worst (even though others may judge that to be the case), and with that realization there's no taking offense at anything anyone does. We are all worthy of and capable of the greatest of Love.

Who Am I Really?
B. Rae

You say,
“But it does exist!
I remember it all too well.
I cannot get over it.
It has shaped and defined me.
My past shines here
In my ever flowing tears.”

I say,
“Oh really?
The past exists because you remember
That which resides only in your mind?
An illusion from the past
You keep alive as though, once again, it were now?

Be here.
Be now.
Be well.

Lay it down,
This burden you hoard and carry.
Leave it in your illusive past.
Let it dim and die.
Do not dig the bones to see
If decay has set in.
Leave them safely in their nonexistent tomb.

Be here.
Be now.
Be well.

Do not tell me why you would
Choose to lug the shackles of your dreary past
As you continue on your way.
It is not needful.
It serves you not at all.”

“But, it defines me.
It tells me who I am.
Who would I be without this past of mine
To identify and carry me?”

“You would be free.”

My Mom and Family

Mother, myself, Jenni and Makenah
Bonna, Ann, Cindy, Shela, Pamelyn, Brad, Shawn, and Terri. We're in order in this photo taken at the family reunion in July 2008.

Shela, Ann, Cindy, Terri,
Pamelyn, Shawn, Mom, Brad, Bonna

Thanksgiving was a nice day - a little rainy - but beautiful in every way. Good food, family, and friends.

It was also my mother's 83rd birthday the day before and I enjoyed spending time visiting on the phone with her.

These pictures were taken this past summer at the Fred and Callie Mortensen family reunion. They seem appropriate to post at Thanksgiving time, being I'm thankful for my dear mother, and all of my siblings and their families too.

The BABIES

I love this picture of Colton, Chance, and Paige. It was taken at Doc Golightly's wedding over a year ago. Can't just have all pictures of Nick and Kyle and leave these three darling's out. Chance is the oldest of the last four boys, with Paige being the baby baby. She's a good sister to all her brothers. They love her to cook for them and she has them to her apartment quite often. Her spaghetti and her chile and sopapillas have earned her a few proposals, all of which she has turned down. She's not ready for that yet. She also makes homemade cinnamon rolls! What a girl.

AN EVENTFUL DAY

Nick in Colorado in July - he drove Kimberly all the way to NYC, then flew to Albuquerque where he met Kyle and the two of them drove to Colorado together. As you can see, they had a great time fishing - brown trout and rainbow. Delicious. Mase and Mike really knew how to cook it good.

Nick and Kyle together, root beer in hand. It was taken during this past summer.

My sidekick left today for Newark, NJ airport - to be with Kimberly Packer, his sweetheart, and be there for the birth of their baby boy, Lucas. Nick and I were up at 4:30 a.m. for him to make his early flight, and he arrived fine. Now Lucas can be born anytime, and I know Kim agrees with that. She's ready to have him out and here.

Summer of 2008

Paige and I at the campground. She's not just my baby, she's a perfect ten.

At the Great Sand Dunes National Monument when the disappearing river was out - not deep, but tons of fun for kids. In fact, if the river isn't out, the Sand Dunes aren't near so much fun. It is awesomely beautiful there.

This was taken downtown Manassa.

Nick, Chance, Kyra, Kyle, and Colton in the "Queen's Suite" in Aunt Cindy's and Uncle Gayland's new home they built. Kyra's room is larger than my mother's whole house. Serious! It's great. Kyra is my buddy all the way. She is great.

Brittney, Tyler, Annikah and Reagan at the Mormon Pioneer Days parade in Manassa, Colorado.

Annikah, Makenah holding Jagger and Reagan. This was taken by the cabins in Magote - you can see Keeley's and Mike's tent in the background with Colton's smaller tent too.

It was the first time there has been a Fred and Callie Mortensen reunion in July of this year. We rented cabins at Magote (near Manassa) and between those and some tents, we had a great time hanging out. Shela and Valden put together all the old super 8 movies from when I was a kid and gave each family a CD of them, with Fred and Callie singing in the background. Priceless. Shela and Valden were the main planners and it was a wonderful and fun event.

I drove there with Paige and Chance's Tyler plus I took Ryan's and Annette's two girls, Annikah and Reagan with me, since Ryan and Annette stayed home with Trevor. The girls were so sweet and good, a joy to have with us. These cousins love each other and they had so much fun at the campsite, in the river, at the parades and carnival, Sand Dunes, etc. It was a wonderful time and trip.

Paige went home early with Colton, so on the return trip I was with the same little girls plus Chance and Nick. It was awesome. I never drove one mile going home. Chance drove his 200 mile leg, Nick took over for his leg, and instead drove the last 400. Being Nick had just returned from driving all the way to NYC, it was a piece of cake for him. I appreciated it so much.

I chose my background for a reason...

Colors! Gotta love 'em. Our world is colored by so much beauty - hard to choose a favorite, unless you are Brittney, who is a pink girl all the way. Sometimes I call her Pinky just because of that. She also loves animals, as does Lily, who now can say her "R's" as she informed me today. Lily LOVES animals and thinks Hedgehogs are ADORABLE. She sent me pictures, and I have to agree, they do qualify.

Here is a poem about colors.

Yeah Right…Choose?
B. Rae

You think I can choose? Impossible! It definitely can't be done.

Perhaps choose yellow as in daffodils, or the gold of summer sun?

The silver-green of sage, or the bright green of grass and trees?

Azure blue sky, sapphire blue ocean, or cobalt blue of seas?

Passionate purples and lavenders make violets, plums, and wines.

With peaches, oranges, and tangerines the evening sunset shines.

And you think I can choose a favorite from this banquet color fest?

Pick from all these colors and say, "This is the one I like the best?"

Choose rough brown of a tree trunk or the deep rich brown of earth?

Or the solemn black of a starless sky when night again has birth?

Scarlet flowers in crimson hue, or blood red of a perfect rose?

Burgundy, cherry, ruby red. How about one of those?

White of cloud or the silver-white of flying lightning cracks?

Illuminating mountains somber gray with taupe upon their backs.

Chocolate rocks, light and dark; the beige and tan of sand.

Bronze and copper lending light to the russet of the land.

Why oh why have you set this task? Quite impossible to do!

Each one seems to be my favorite when I have them in my view.

The idea is simply ridiculous and I wonder how you think.

So, now hush. Herald the rosy blush of dawn.

Oh wait....I choose pink.

Annette Blogs - She inspired me! Thanks, Annette.

I chose "Peace is The Way" because it is the only way to live and be happy.



Christ said, "Peace I give you. My peace I give unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."



When he said these words, He was telling us we have nothing to fear and we have the power to trust, so fear will not be part of our story while we live on this Earth.



Peace comes from within. I love that saying, "If you don't go within, you will go without." Makes me smile.



I think this poem I'd like to share has a "peace" message in it.

STORM TIME
B. Rae

Spellbound, do I wonder

At the lightning and the thunder.

They spark and crash upon my senses,

Light tiny twigs and frozen fences.

Etching details, so I see

Dancing leaves on each green tree;

And splashing drops of water flowing

O'er the rocks and grasses growing

Beneath majestic forest kings,

Swaying to wind-music as it sings

In rapture for this gift of grace.

Within the storm, I see God's face.